Openly discussing sexual experiences improves sex. Excellent sex requires communication.

Many couples find it challenging to express their thoughts without appearing critical or ashamed. Sometimes it feels easier to talk sex with your "girls" than your partner.

It’s natural to worry about your partner's reaction. Can they handle it? Would it harm their feelings? Despite these anxieties, you’re doing your spouse and myself a disservice by avoiding sex. When you express your sexual needs, wants, and desires, your relationship and sex will improve.

So how does one approach their lover about having sex? Here’s are some simple tips to set off your sex chats.

Start with one subject

By listing everything your partner did wrong, you risk overloading them. One subject at a time is best. One mouthful at a time is how to eat an elephant. Focusing on the issue at hand will help you stay on topic. Too much, too fast, is ineffective. If you have more subjects, make this a recurring event.

Start the conversation with a compliment.

Avoid criticism when discussing sex. If you do, the swap won't begin. Saying, "You never touch my body," will make your partner think you're moaning. Last weekend's laundry room kiss was sexy. I want more! Try "I love it when you touch me here" instead of "I detest it there." Everyone has self-doubts. Criticizing will exacerbate these fears. Share your constructive wants with your partner to get their attention.

Bring ideas and suggestions

The subject of sex can be delicate. Make a list of sex improvements to ensure a pleasant conversation. Tell your partner what gets you hot, including your dreams, favorite characteristics of them, sexy things they do, and how often you appreciate being intimate. Give your companion an opportunity to speak. Your spouse may have suggestions since it takes two to tango. When asked how to develop as a lover, be willing to listen.

Make it a game and enjoy it

If you don't normally discuss your preferences in bed, make it an activity. Erotic card games are great for this. Mickie Woods' computer game Sex Talks features 69 questions to boost sexual chemistry and promote deeper connections. Make your own game if none is available. Partner up to answer generic questions. What excites you? Do you occasionally dream? How much sex do you want? Which position do you prefer? What is one thing you never do in bed?

Excellent lovers are made, not born. Open, unrestrained, nonjudgmental communication is the key to a satisfying sexual relationship.